Sunday, March 22, 2009

homo oeconomicus'dan pazartesi neşesi ve bir not

a farmer's guide to political ideologies

feudalism: you have two cows. your lord takes some of the milk.
fascism: you have two cows. the government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
pure communism: you have two cows. your neighbours help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
applied communism: you have two cows. you have to take care of them but the government takes all the milk.
dictatorship: you have two cows. the government takes both and shoots you.
nigerian democracy: you have two cows. the government takes both, shoots you and sends the cows to zurich.
pure democracy: you have two cows. your neighbourhood decides who takes the milk.
singaporean democracy: you have two cows. the government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.
european democracy: you have two cows. at first, the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. then it pays you not to milk them. after that, it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
capitalism: you have two cows. you sell one and buy a bull.
hong kong capitalism: you have two cows. you sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. the milk rights of the six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the right to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. meanwhile you kill the cows because of bad fengshui.
political correctness: you are associated with (the concept of 'ownership' is a symbol of the phallocentric, warmongering, intolerant past) two differently aged ( but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

sakin bir pazar akşamı tüm email adreslerimdeki postaları gözden geçiriyordum. yazıldığı zaman bana ulaşmamış olan bir notla karşılaştım. bazı arkadaşlarım zamanında görüp cevaplarını vermişler. geç olsun güç olmasın ben de söyleyeceğimi söyleyeyim.
bu tıkanıklık hali hep kolay olanı seçmekten. tercih varsa bir eleştiri onun gitmesi gereken mercilere yapıcı ve sürekli biçimde gitmesinden ziyade gidebilecek en rahat yere gidip daralma yaratmasından yana.
bir şey söylenmiş de olsun ama derdi söylem değiştirme, kırılma yaratma, kısacası eylem yapma olmasın. diskurun meselelere bakışını değişen koşullara göre yenilemesine, kendine öz eleştiri getirmesine de ne gerek var canım. chp modeli kanımıza mı işlemiş ne? kollektif belleğin gerçek öcü. sol taraftan ilerleyelim abiler ablalar arabada boş yer var...

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